Stephen Colbert mocked a Nabisco marketing memo on The Colbert Report this week. Colbert is hilarious -- but the memo itself actually makes sense to me. Obviously, I've been in marketing too long.
Colbert got hold of a memo for Wheat Thins sponsorship. The memo outlines, in excruciating detail, the dos and don'ts of how Colbert's show should portray the cracker. For example:
We can't show overconsumption. That is a brand 'don't.' You see the serving size for Wheat Thins is 16 crackers. So as delicious as they are, I shouldn't eat more than 16. And also, 'if they are shown out of the box (like in a bowl), there should only be a max of 16.' So remember everyone, while Wheat Thins is 'a snack for anyone who is actively seeking experiences,' those experiences do not include the experience of eating 17 crackers.
Watch the whole thing -- but don't have Wheat Thins in your mouth when you do, because you'll spray your screen with cracker crumbs when you laugh.
The memo seems to be a set of guidelines for product placement, or for how Wheat Thins should be shown in commercials. By saying that "Wheat Thins are the perfect snacking sidekick wherever, whenever, or for whatever," Nabisco's marketers are saying that Wheat Thins can served any way, with any other food or alone. The 16-cracker limit means Wheat Thins should be shown eaten in moderation, not being binged on.
"Wheat Thins are 'not an exclusive or exclusionary brand,' " Colbert quotes the memo as saying. That means Wheat Thins shouldn't be shown as gourmet food requiring a refined palate to appreciate. Frasier and Niles Crane wouldn't eat Wheat Thins, but Daphne, Roz, or Martin Crane would.
Does the memo seem reasonable to you, or are Nabisco marketers overthinking it?
Just enough to be fun, I think. "Fun" being roughly defined as "all the people who get it will think you're a little bit of a doofus, and hardly anyone will suspect you are being a doofus on purpose."
@John Barnes - And I know one mother who was troubled by what her reaction should be when her daughter shaved off the hair on one side of her head and dyed the other side purple.
My friend's actual reaction was to shrug it off. Kids do weird things with fashions. It's just hair. It grows back .
But she knew she actually needed to act outraged, and was struggling to calibrate the exact amount she should be outraged. Too little outrage, and her daughter might be tempted to go further to get Mom's attention. If my friend behaved overly outraged, her daughter might be tempted to leave her hair that way, or, again, go even further just to show Mom that Mom wasn't the boss.
So should Nabisco or any other brand feign outrage -- but just the right amount of outrage -- when mocked by Colbert or some other comedian?
Being mocked can sometimes be a fast road not only to attention but even affection. I've known more than one parent who TPed her own house in an attempt to popularity-boost the offspring.
Let's also remember the Stewie and Brian Griffin (of Family Guy) Wheat Thins commercial, which shows Nabisco doesn't take itself too seriously. Then again, it's possible fans begged them to use the clip as a commercial. (Next up: Cool WHip?)
My guess is they loved it. Marketing people long ago dosed on silly, not necessarily effective overdone irony, so it will give them the feeling they are hip.
Sponsor control-freakery is nothing new; most of Bonanza took place during the Lincoln Administration, but no character ever mentioned the president because the main sponsor was GM. And when I was but a wee tad, working a night job as a DTO at Proctor and Gamble, I received the first serious reprimand of my adult working life: someone in security noticed that my password was IvorySoapSinks.
I do think times have changed, and there's a good chance that Nabisco will just relax and roll with the profit.
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